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The professional poker world has been rocked this week by claims
that WSOP and WPT champion Dan 'Kid Poker' Negreanu, is an alien.
Thought initially to be a talented Canadian, Negreanu, it is now
strongly suggested, visited our planet as part of an exchange
program arranged in a secret top level meeting of Pentagon
officials and members of Negreanu's planetary commission.
Sources
Sources close to Negreanu denied
the accusation that part of his poker playing talents come from his
ability to mind-meld with his mother ships super computer ‘KID-P.’ |
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Ear lobe
Confirmation of this extra-terrestrial help
came from science boffin and vintage corset collector, Sid ‘Slipper’ Monkton
who insists, “Whenever Negreanu has a decision to make for all of his chips,
he touches his left ear lobe.”
Communication
Monkton went on to reveal in his book ‘My Life
As An Alien Hunter In Drag,’ touching the left ear lobe is a sign that Negreanu
is opening a communication channel and with the help of the processing power of
the ‘KID-P’ computer, can calculate the likelihood of his hand standing up.
Alien research program
“What more evidence do you need. Negreanu is
one of PokerStars top players” Monkton added, insinuating, “I wouldn’t be surprised
to find out that the entire PokerStars organisation is nothing but a front for an
alien research program.
For all we know, they could be gathering information
on each one of us ahead of a planned inter-planetary assault."
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Artist's impression of how Dan Negreanu may have
looked when coming to earth
Further
Further investigation by staff members at
Poker-Cartoons.com news office un-earthed more startling revelations.
Potato
Acting on a hunch, our chief culinary reporter
Quasimodo Backpack went to the vegetable counter at his local super-market.
Brought them with him
Canvassing the opinions of the workers there
was told; "I don't know. I mean it could be true. Because come to think of it,
I don't remember seeing any potatoes before Dan Negreanu suddenly arrived on the
scene... and they do look kind of funny. I suppose he could have brought them
with him to use as some kind of strange food."
Poker-Cartoons.com staff have yet to find a
reported sighting of potatoes pre 1998, the same year that Negreanu won his first
WSOP bracelet.
Poker-Cartoons.com was unsuccessful in eliciting
a comment from Negreanu.
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